Absolute Destiny: Otaku!
by angel0wonder
Summary: While in a relationship with Konata, poor Kagami has to put up with all her quirks and cosplaying tendencies in the bedroom as much as outside of it. Rated M for HINTS of adult content, aka 'no real lemons'.


A/N: A lot of the konami stories in this fandom revolve around how the two would get together. Well, my perverted muse instead wondered what their sex life would be like. This is set in the future when the characters are older and already in a relationship for a while. And yeah, it's about their time in the sack, but it's not really lemon. I tried to leave out the more exclusive details! More crack than anything, but hey its Lucky Star. So enjoy another Konata/Kagami story!

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Konata woke up with a weird strangled grunt of surprise. She opened her green eyes and smirked at the sight before her. "Oh my, Kagamin. This is rare." she muttered with a silly grin. Kagami lifted her head from the skin of Konata's neck.

"Um, well, so what?" Kagami demanded with a heavy blush, placing a hand on Konata's breast to show she meant business. Konata chuckled and brought her hands up to cover her body.

"Oh ho! To take advantage of little old me while I'm asleep! Scary!" Konata adopted a helpless tone of voice and attempted to wriggle away. A vein popped on Kagami's forehead as she held the smaller girl under her in place with her weight.

"Stop with the innocent marimite voice!" she said in a firm voice. "It's not natural coming from you." Konata stopped her squirming movements and in a complete three sixty her arms around Kagami's neck and hugged her tight.

"Kagamin is so cute when she wants to take the lead!" she squealed. Kagami wrestled with the small but unusually strong arms locking her in place.

"Just shut up and let me work!" Kagami scolded when she finally managed to disentangle the blunette's limbs from her neck and hair. Konata decided to keep her comments to herself for once and just laid her head back and grinned while she let the other girl do what she wished. For the ultimate tsundere Kagami to initiating sex was an event scene in and of itself for Konata! She was leveling up, and she couldn't wait to share this information with her gamer buddies' online tomorrow morning! She had gotten to the stage where the tsundere was making moves on her! Kuroi-sensei would be especially proud, and Hiyori would probably die on her keyboard from shock and awe.

"And you'd better not put this on the internet or something, you got that?" Kagami said while she removed her girlfriend's pajama pants. Konata sat straight up at those words.

"What? How'd you-" she was immediately silenced at Kagami's next move. Well, not exactly silent, but there were no coherent words coming from the otaku at that moment.

After a good amount of time of activity between the two, they were very near the good part. Kagami had worked Konata into a panting and moaning state with no snarks or anime references. She could get used to being in charge for once. The thought barely passed through the tsundere's mind when Konata suddenly stilled the movements of Kagami's hand with her own just when her cute little noises were becoming more frequent. Kagami separated her lips from Konata's navel and looked up at her questioningly. Konata's pleased green irises met Kagami's own violet confused ones. Then a mischievous smile spread over the otaku's features and the other girl instinctively knew she wasn't going to like what was going to come out of her mouth now.

"Kagamin," Konata panted out the name with a strain but she just couldn't pass up the opportunity. Kagami looked weary but let Konata continue her sentence. "Please, say _that_."

"Oh hell no!" Kagami immediately shook her head side to side furiously to emphasize the fact that she did not want anything to do with this.

"Please Kagamin?" Konata pleaded, adding a sickeningly sweet tone to her voice.

"No." Kagami responded more firmly, matching the other girl's determination. She actually tried to force the movements of her hand, making Konata squeak but the smaller girl closed her legs, trapping Kagami's hand in place.

"I won't come until you say that." Konata stated with a smirk in response to Kagami's glare.

They had a stare down challenge in a battle of wills before Konata broke out her secret weapon.

"Please, Kagami-sama~" Konata mewled pleadingly. Kagami's breath hitched in her throat.

"I told you not to call me that..." Kagami growled.

"But I know you secretly like it," Konata teased, watching the very tips of Kagami's ears go pink. "Ka-ga-min- sa-ma~" Kagami put her forehead against the smaller girl's slender stomach and mumbled something. "What was that, I didn't quite hear it?" Konata pushed for Kagami to say that one word she so longed to hear. Kagami growled again but swallowed her pride and said that stupid word.

"B-Bankai." she repeated herself, trying to nudge Konata's legs back open.

"Say it like you mean it!" Konata demanded with a cat-grin. Kagami ground her teeth together in sheer frustration. She finally got to be in charge of the sex but she was still being manipulated. But she was too far gone to hold out any longer. In a quick movement that surprised Konata, the tsundere forced the girl's legs apart and pumped her fingers more furiously than before while screaming the word "BANKAI!" with blazing eyes. Konata squealed in delight and couldn't help but come quickly after that particular display of 'final release'.

After she had calmed her breathing the bluenette assumed her trademark cat-grin and teasing eyes. "Uwah! I can't believe you said that!" she laughed. Kagami smacked her upside the head.

"Sh-shut up!" she muttered, shamed at the fact she had given in to something so... Konata-ish. The smaller girl just excitedly reached over the side of their futon, grabbing a box which contained certain toys Kagami almost never let her use on her unless Konata had liquored her up.

"Now let me sheath my zanpaktou into your...!"

"PLEASE stop calling it that!"

"But I customized it and everything!"

"... Goodnight."

"Noooo! Dream Killer!"

~~**LS**~~

"I'm home." Kagami called into the apartment ritually. She dropped her briefcase by the door and loosened the short tie around her neck with a sigh of relief. "Konata?" It was unusual that the shorter girl didn't come running to smother her at the door. The tsundere immediately became suspicious and walked further into the apartment she shared with her girlfriend carefully. "Where are you, you little..!"

"It is not nice to address your Brigade Chief as such, you lowly Brigade member!" Konata's voice, in a perfect Haruhi imitation, said from the direction of their bedroom. Kagami sweat-dropped and sighed tiredly.

"This again?" she muttered to herself while walking toward the bedroom. "Haven't I told you not to bring your work home with you?" Kagami said sarcastically as she entered the room. As expected Konata was sitting cross-legged on the futon expectantly, in full Haruhi attire.

"Hey, I don't work at the Cosplay Cafe anymore!" Konata said in her normal voice before grinning mischievously at the taller woman. "But that's beside the point! I'm gonna have to punish you for talking back to your Brigade Chief!" she said loudly, standing up and placing her hands on her hips authoritatively. Kagami couldn't help but check her out briefly, hoping Konata didn't notice or else she might have encouraged Konata into this kind of behavior. But Konata did notice and she grinned evilly.

"Your punishment is to strip naked and run around the house spanking yourself while screaming 'Little green Martians are after my hot body! five hundred times!" Konata declared, pointing a finger at Kagami dramatically.

"In your dreams!" Kagami yelled. "That's embarrassing as a human being!"

Konata tsked her. "If you accomplish this, your Brigade Chief will allow you to do that thing you always wanted to do to me. But don't be so rough like last time!" Konata teased. Kagami blushed but maintained her glare, Konata matching it effortlessly with her mischievous gaze. Kagami finally sighed in defeat and looked away, blush increasing over her features. She had to admit; she really wanted to do that thing to Konata that she always to do but didn't have the guts to!

"I'll only do it ONE time!" Kagami declared while holding out a single finger.

"499 times." Konata retorted without hesitation.

"Only two times."

"498 times."

"Your bargaining sucks!" Kagami complained, but Konata's level stare was unwavering in having her complete this task. She sighed "Okay, okay... Ten times is as high as I'm willing to go." Konata looked like she was going to excitedly accept the deal. "But," Kagami interrupted with a smirk of her own that surprised Konata. "I get to do that thing to you just as many times."

Konata threw herself to the ground dramatically and cowered. "Kagamin, you tsundere beast!" she said in fear and awe.

"Stop calling me that." Kagami grumbled. "Deal... Or no deal?"

Konata got back to her feet and grinned at the taller woman. "Deal."

"Th-that was quick." Kagami said surprised, her previous confidence evaporating as Konata bestowed her with those expectant excited eyes.

"I didn't want to drag it out and go through the commercial break." Konata stated before motioning her girlfriend to hurry it the hell up!

"F-fine... Brigade Chief." Kagami muttered reluctantly as she started unbuttoning her top. She silently cursed herself for being turned on by this ridiculousness. Konata watched with delighted eyes. Kagami was just so moe!

"Now get on with the spanking!" Konata yelled enthusiastically while pulling out a whip from nowhere and cracking it against the floor, making Kagami jump.

"Oi, where the hell did you get that?" Kagami demanded incredulously.

"Patty let me borrow it." Konata answered in her normal voice before switching back quickly. "Hurry up before I destroy the world!"

"... Why does Patty have a ..?" Kagami shook her head "Don't answer that question." She then attempted to follow the directions given to her with an air of pride! Because even though she considered these acts humiliating in a way that kind of turned her on, she still had her dignity, damn it! (As long as no one found out about it, that is)

A few minutes later Tsukasa Hiiragi was finished climbing up the four flights of stairs of the apartment building, gasping for breath pathetically as she clutched at the hand rail for support.

"Made, it.." Tsukasa panted with a tired smile. It had been a while since she had stopped by to visit her sister and Konata, so she was looking forward to their surprised faces when they saw she had come by with her famous baked treats, which she was sure they would both appreciate. "Eto..." Tsukasa mumbled when she finally regained her breath and began her venture for the right door that belonged to her fraternal twin sister.

"Ah! Found it!" Tsukasa said happily when she saw the door labeled "Hiiragi Kagami" and "Izumi Konata". Being the airhead that she was, she figured walking right in was alright. After all, she was family...

"LITTLE GREEN MARTIANS ARE AFTER MY HOT BODY!" (spank) "LITTLE GREEN MARTAINS ARE AFTER MY HOT BODY!" (spank)

"YOUR BRIGADE CHIEF IS REALLY TURNED ON!"

"THANK YOU, BRIGADE CHIEF!"

"Now get over here and do that thing you've always wanted to do with your Brigade Chief, or I'll give you the death penalty!"

"Yes, Brigade Chi-.. Ts-Tsukasa!" Kagami shrieked her sister's name when she finally noticed her in the entrance. Tsukasa stared with a shocked but blank expression on her face for another moment before slowly sliding the door shut, how it belonged. Kagami's spirit left her body from the high levels of embarrassment. Konata flashed a peace-sign at the closed door.

"Ha, looks like you won't be able to do that that thing you've always wanted to do to me." Konata said with a slightly disappointed look on her face as Kagami muttered incoherently on the floor, her whole body shaded white form the shock save for her now very red and very sore bottom.

~~**LS**~~

"Open wide~" Kagami encouraged, holding a fork with a chocolate covered strawberry at the end out to Konata.

"Ahh~" Konata eagerly opened her mouth, awaiting the gloriousness of being fed strawberries! But she was too eager..! And she accidentally...! KNOCKED THE STRAWBERRY ONTO THE FLOOR!

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Konata's face crumbled as tears streamed down her face dramatically as she fell off her chair and to her knees. Kagami stared at her, fork still hanging mid-air. "WHY, KAGAMIN? WHY!" Konata cried, looking like a small child throwing a tantrum as she waved her fists in the air.

_'She's panicking... over a strawberry..._' Kagami thought with an irritated roll of her eyes when Konata started rolling on the floor, still wailing. _'This is the worst anime reference ever.'_

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A/N: Another chapter should be added soon, with even more anime references! (If anyone has a request/suggestion, I'll be more than happy to take it under consideration!)


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